Ichigo`s Journal

16th of May

My dad gave me this shortly after my awakening, since the fight, i thought about what to write so i decided to write whatever comes into mind, if somehthing happense (has never had a Journal before) yes my grammar sucks, and yes im only a human these days (sigh) sometimes i wish it could have been avoided that i lost my powers, other times im really enjoying it, at least Rukia wont be nagging on me every time a hollow shows up...

then again i miss her arguments and her self too, i must admit...

17th of May
Its been exactly six month`s since Inoue got kidnapped by the Espada, a terrible feeling, what if more of my friends dissapear and now that my powers are gone... no it wont come to that again ever! I keep telling myself that this is the best for the both of us, but Rukia`s image keeps coming back, im starting to think that im going insane, but my dad keeps saying its normal, im starting to doubt his sanity as well, Now that i think back at all the things that happened back in SS and here in Karakura as well as in Hueco mundo, im realizing how lucky i am that i have such awesome friends... and yet all that happened seemed to be but one distant dream... one dream (or nightmare) in particular has also stayed in my mind, that freak of a captain what was his name now? Mayuri kurosuchi i think... im seeing nightmares of him still i swear...

Though one question has been bothering me for a while now, why did Inoue choose to visit me of all people before she dissapeared? now that i think about it she has been rather protective whenever i get hurt or get into a fight, im not sure what that is about, i guess i should ask since no one else seems to care but im starting to think its nothing i should really be concerned about out of all things, i suppose shes just that caring type...

22nd of June

Its been over a month since i wrote last time been busy with soccer, its not half bad in the summer, especially handy when one is as well built as i am, one does not have to worry about the training as much, i also found work, our boss is one scary fella, shes... what`s her name again... ill ask tomorrow, sure my work has its ups and downs, but at least it beats the thought of going on a vacation, i must have grown really attached to this little town, but what can you do when you have spent 1/3 of your lifetime as a shinigami running on the roof tops of buildings chasing hollows day in and out, i guess my grades took a direct impact due to that too but what was i supposed to do? tell my teacher to go easy on me because im chasing hollows 24/7? no thanks...

Well i should not complain, whenever i see my sisters running the house, i keep thinking what would have happened if rukia had never walked trough that wall into my room, and thinking about my sisters always lifts my mood, went to our mothers grave the other day... always brings me memories...

27th of June

So warm, cant write... must go out, man this summer is killing me, i don´t get it why does my dad insist for my sisters and myself to take a vacation? when its way too hot here, and most likeley even hotter at wherever he wants to go, i swear my dad can be such a nuisance sometimes.

Like that aint enough, i cant belive how loud pain in the ass Kon can be sometimes, seriously if he could just shut his mouth for 5 seconds once in a while, id be so happy, but all he does is nag at everything that is wrong in the world, oh how i wish Rukia was here to shut him up i can`t take it much more. Yeah like that will ever happen.

Im trying not to think about my father as a shinigami, he can tell me when he`s ready, because im not actually too suprised, actually it does makes sense now.

1st of August

Its been too long since i wrote anything... there has not really been much to write about.

My Family has left me for the vacation, i told them to go withouth me, i have work to do as school has started. ! met Inoue after school, she does not seem to have changed much which makes me feel at ease, im glad that her kidnapping did not change her the least, she is very strong at heart.

A bunch of stuff happened and i ended up at her house, and i think i got the answer to my question, now i think im starting to regret it...

3rd of August

I cant belive im writing this down, Rukia is here laying on my bed talking about the recent stuff that has been happening since my... absence. Truly im getting worried that soul society is in trouble again, man what would they do withouth me! for the first time since my battle with Aizen im truly starting to feel regret that my powers have left me, its nothing i want to talk with Rukia about, the entire subject is a taboo and should stay that way.

Its like the whole world is falling down on my shoulders, first Inoue, now Rukia, its as if they both are pleading for my help, if only there was a way for me to regain my powers.

Inoue however, i think she might have a crush on me, i understand if shes shy about it, i would be too i think, but all that is just too much for me to handle at the moment, i can think about it but i don´t know how to answer her, hell i don`t even know if its true, its just a speculation after all... but it does add up, im such an idiot, makes me wonder how long shes been feeling like that about me? since we came to save her from las noches? or was it even before that? (shrug and sigh) well i guess theres no sense in pondering about that right now.

Gotta stop writing Rukia is starting to piss me off again like old days.